day 10: meditation

Wow! Today's meditation was really nice. I found some time alone in my boyfriend's room and lit one of my incense. I'm not sure which one it was as they're all mixed up, but I like to believe it was the Aura Cleansing one. Regardless, it made the meditation that much better. Once I settled myself against the wall and in the same meditative position as last night, I found I easily slipped into a meditative state. This was the easiest shift ever. I was breathing with ease and sitting comfortably, while also maintaining well posture. My mind wasn't riddled with thoughts; in fact, I kept picturing a still pond in front of me. That's simply how I felt sitting there. A feeling of complete stillness overcame me, as if time had stopped and would not start again. My body hung loss from the restrictions of analytical, anxious thoughts and floated a top the still pond within my mind. Of course my pond was occasionally disrupted, but not as much as it once was. The ripples it faced were not waves of terror, but rather soft, toned ripples barely beneath the surface. Although they floated along, they did not cause the pond to become a whirlpool or a frenzy of waves. I am so proud of myself. It really is true that practice makes perfect (and no, I'm not claiming I'm perfect, but I'm better than before)!
I decided to do a little yoga afterwards. It was a mini sun salutation excerise I learned in my back strengthening yoga class a while back (I think I've mentioned before I have a bad back/legs/body lol). It really helped close off the meditative, calmness off the moment, while also stretching out my back and allowing my body to relax even more than it already was. I think what's important about this meditation is that it showed what works best for me in order to achieve a state of calm. I need to be alone, with incense, and in that wonderful position. I think it's also important to note that, in the beginning, I dedicated my mediation to taking in positive energy and releasing negative energy. Do I feel my mood has completely turned around? Of course not, but I do feel I am more ready to face the day ahead with a better, more positive outlook. I also took in self love and acceptance, breathing out the idea that I am my anxiety. This is something I want to work on, so I'm hoping dedicating half the time to doing that will help stabilize and control my misguided anxious self in order to fully sit and watch the serene calm of my still pond. Sigh, this was great. Namaste.
artfully yours